Ten Fun Facts: Steve Bannon Edition

1. Steve Bannon should not be confused with “Race” Bannon from Johnny Quest, though he is dangerous obsessed with race. “Race” Bannon should not be confused with Mike Pence, as despite all evidence to the contrary, Pence is not actually a cartoon.

2. The surname “Bannon” can be traced back to Ireland and means “white”, which is also a common description for the conglomeration of mainly European ethnic groups whose cultural/political hegemony Steve Bannon seeks to maintain at the expense of all other groups.

3. There is no direct evidence that Steve Bannon strangles kittens for pleasure.

4. Despite the hysterical bleating of certain liberal Democrats and communists, the executive order Donald Trump issued Saturday reorganizing the National Security Council is not a bloodless “fascist coup”. It merely excludes the director of national intelligence and military chiefs of staff from meetings unless it is determined their presence is required; concomitantly, it gives Steve Bannon a permanent seat on the NSC, expanding his role from chief strategist (a standard political role) to one that will have direct input on military and intelligence matters. If it were a fascist coup, would it look like The Donald giving an important job to one of his best buds and upend the serving military establishment? Actually yes, yes it would. We’re looking at a coup here.

5. Steve Bannon drafts the president’s executive orders so that Donnie has plenty of time to eat Doritos, watch TV and play with his phone.

6. Steve Bannon is not an anti-Semite. Just ask The Federalist.

7. Mr. Bannon recently told the media to “keep its mouth shut”. Presumably in the spirit of fairness he included Breitbart.com among the organizations who should be muzzled forthwith.

8. If there were any direct evidence that Steve Bannon strangles kittens for pleasure, he would use the shadowy apparatus of the federal government to guarantee that said evidence (as well as the person or persons in possession of it) were eradicated.

9. Steve Bannon really hates voter fraud.

10. Steve Bannon recently got an erection after thinking about how much damage he’s been able to inflict on the polity of democratic society in a relatively brief period of time.

(Year Zero/Day Ten)

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