Who Will We Go To War With? (North Korea, Maybe?)

North Korea isn’t just LOL political assassinations and half-starved refugees escaping into South Korea, gangster totalitarian rule and visits from Dennis Rodman. They also have a nuclear program and have been firing off test missiles like they’re going out of style. Do missiles have expiration dates?

Given these unavoidable facts, diplomatic relations with Kim Jong Un’s nightmarish, peninsular prison of a country require subtly, a deft hand and an even temper. Something like… this?

North Korean state media warned on Tuesday of a nuclear attack on the United States at any sign of American aggression as a U.S. Navy strike group steamed toward the western Pacific.

U.S. President Donald Trump, who has urged China to do more to rein in its impoverished neighbor, said in a Tweet that North Korea was “looking for trouble” and the United States would “solve the problem” with or without China’s help.

Oh gods, no. That’s the opposite of what is needed. Unless Trump thinks what’s needed is to start wars with both of the world’s other major superpowers at the same time (China over North Korea, Russia over Syria). His bullying isn’t doing much to aid his domestic agenda. What makes him think it will work on other countries that have soldiers and equipment and in some cases nuclear weapons?

If Donald Trump triggers the nuclear annihilation of all life on earth, there’s no way I’m voting for him in 2020.‡‡

(Year Zero/Day Eighty-Two)

‡ If North Korea nukes the west coast of the United States I apologize for my flippancy… to the survivors.
‡‡ If all life is annihilated, I don’t really think I need to apologize to anyone.

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