Excerpts From Our Forthcoming Non-Alphabetical Glossary Of Terms Applicable To The Modern Political Era

Nothing Burger – Information of extreme relevance; “nothing burger” is often used to downplay its importance through a silly rhetorical flourish.

Priebusing – Continuing to show up to work every day despite rumors of your impending involuntary departure. Priebusing is closely related to the term “Priebus’ luck” (see below).

Blank Sheet – Refusing to cooperate with a court order in a timely manner. Redacting most of a page of information before releasing it to a government watchdog organization.

Off-Camera Briefing: A way to communicate your message to the press corps without providing any clips that can later be played on late night shows.

Spicing – Being buried under the incompetence of the individuals you have been hired to defend to the public.

The American People – The 30 percent or so of randomly polled Americans who have a positive view of the 45th president.

More – Less.

Fiscal Conservatism – The principled belief that the federal government should cut spending on health care, social security, food stamps, low-income housing, student loans and Planned Parenthood so that the Military-Industrial Complex will finally get the funding it deserves.

Lawsuit – An action taken against plebeians, not presidents.

Priebus’ Luck – When one unexpectedly finds their job is secure due to their employer’s newfound fear of firing people for legal/political reasons.

Bigly – See yuge.

Gaslighting – There’s no such thing as gaslighting. It’s not even a word. Only an idiot would believe in gaslighting. Why would we gaslight you, anyway? You’re not even worth our time.

Authoritarianism – In the United States, a word tentatively used to describe behavior more closely resembling fascism. The Diet Coke of identifying an incipient dictatorship.

High-Quality Person – One who is grossly stupid, evil or both. Characterized by a lack of basic understanding of laws, social mores, etiquette or ethics.

Yuge – See bigly.

Flash Cards – The best way to explain a complicated concept to The American People.

(Year Zero/Day One Hundred and Seventy-Five)

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