Posts by Zzyzx

I am a normative human being with standard coloration option #5 and chromosome-assigned sexual features.

I Think We All Know How This Ends

Today, Alabamans go to the polls for the special election to fill Jeff Sessions’ Senate seat. They deserve our sympathy; they’re shackled to either establishment Democrat Doug Jones or Roy Moore, a man who has been accused of serial child molestation.

It’s a tough choice for voters. On the one hand, Roy Moore wants to turn America into a theocracy, holds strong homophobic, nativist and xenophobic views, and thinks returning our country to the slavery system would “solve a lot of problems”. On the other hand, Moore was banned from a shopping mall for trying to pick up teenage girls.

Moore’s a cynical predator whose refusal to step down earned an endorsement from the president and renewed RNC funding, but no one will accuse him of being a liberal.

Welcome to the Senate, Judge Moore.

(Year Zero/Day Three Hundred and Twenty-Six)

On Trumpian Economic Philosophy

Donald Trump and GOP Lawmakers may be at philosophical odds on any number of issues, but when it comes to their antipathy for the poor, there’s unanimity.

While candidate Donald Trump pledged to protect some safety net programs, conservatives have long wanted to devolve control of social programs to the states and impose stricter work and drug testing rules. Now that they control both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue, Republicans believe they have a once-in-a-generation opportunity to overhaul those programs, which they have long argued are wasteful, are too easily exploited and promote dependency.

“People are taking advantage of the system and then other people aren’t receiving what they really need to live, and we think it is very unfair to them,” Trump said in October.

The president is expected to sign the welfare executive order as soon as January, according to multiple administration officials, with an eye toward making changes to health care, food stamps, housing and veterans programs, not just traditional welfare payments.

The poor shouldn’t get away with exploiting the system. That’s the hard-won, exclusive domain of the wealthy.

(Year Zero/Day Theee Hundred and Twenty-Five)

Something Approaching Basic Human Decency

Say what you will about Democrats – and I’ve said plenty – but at the national level, the party recognizes if it doesn’t want to alienate its base ahead of the midterms, it can’t support men accused of predatory behavior against women. Hence the “retirements” of Rep. John Conyers’ and Sen. Al Franken. It’s the kind of message they hope conveys “We take women seriously, and we draw the line well before pedophiles”.

And though Franken continues to deny a majority of the eight accusations against him, neither he or any spokesperson would ever brand the women “criminals” like a certain child molester/horse aficionado/future senator.

Well done, Democratic Party. You may be ineffectual, clueless and weak; you may be neoliberal buffoons who did much to exacerbate wealth inequality in this country; you may have resisted socialized medicine in favor of an incrementally less awful healthcare system; you may support awful interventionist military actions, destabilizing leftist governments and drone bombing children; you may be as corrupt as Republican politicians; you may be think a “Black Lives Matter” yard sign is enough to absolve your support of racist police; your spinelessness against the hard right may have moved your brand to the right of Nixon over the years, leaving a bad taste in potential voters mouths – but at least you don’t support a sexual predator.

At least, not anymore.

(Year Zero/Day Three Hundred and Twenty-Two)

Ten Fun Facts: Obstruction Of Justice Edition

You’ve heard the legal-sounding term “obstruction of justice” bandied about frequently these last few months, but how much do you really know about justice obstructions? Are they anything like bowel obstructions?

1. There’s no such thing as justice. The FBI and DOJ’s reputations are in tatters – worst in history!, hijacked by pro-Clinton and Obama goons. The only way to make things right is to put the president in charge of who gets arrested and summarily deposited into his oubliettes.

2. Speaking of the president, his very nature precludes obstructing justice. It doesn’t matter what actions he takes – they’re all legal and correct. If Donald Trump wants to fire Robert Mueller, shut down the Russia investigation and send all the hacks who’ve been trying to ruin his good name to Guantanamo, that’s his prerogative.

3. President Trump’s lawyers can’t stress that last point enough. Trump’s authority is derived from the will of The People, who yearned for the steely leadership of a strongman. His power is an expression of America’s need for authority. He is the literal embodiment of the state. To challenge the president is to commit treason.

4. Further, they would like to point out the president’s powers extend to the definition of reality itself. If the president insists the leaked Access Hollywood tapes describing his cavalier attitude towards sexually assaulting women was fabricated, it doesn’t matter what people have heard, or what Billy Bush and 2016 candidate Trump admitted. The tape undermines president Trump; president Trump is the state; the state is truth; therefore, the tape is untrue. If he says the human body runs on a battery and exercising is pointless, well, it’s time to rejigger those presidential fitness awards.

5. Were the president to tweet that he threw a man out of a helicopter, there is no room for uncertainty in your reaction. It is now a fact, and he sent that man to his death because it was the right thing to do.

6. When He proclaims Mueller is leading a witch hunt against him, all material facts conform to his proclamation. Donald Trump’s word is made flesh by a power you cannot imagine bond.

7. To accept His truth is to Make America Great Again.

8. If you really didn’t want Trump to be your president, you would have found a way to stop Him. But you didn’t, did you? This witch hunt is the last gasp of those too weak —the liberals, the illegals, The un-white, the un-straight — to take the county by force. They don’t matter. They’re being taken care of. Forget about them.

9. Obstruction is not a word worth using. If the FBI and the DOJ think there is, they have been misled by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, the real criminals. Can you trust the man who forged his birth certificate to steal the presidency or the woman who murdered Vince Foster in cold blood? His lawyers think not. Any law that contravenes His will is no law at all.

10. There is no obstruction of justice. “Obstruction” is no longer a word. There never was a law, or even a set of behaviors, that could be described by the un-word “obstruction” or any similar existing word. Donald Trump can not break the law. That would be like breaking Himself.

11. All facts are fun under Donald Trump.

(Year Zero/Day Three Hundred and Nineteen)