The Revolution Starts Now (Well, Saturday)


Societal upheaval and glorious slaughter are nearly at hand. Lace up your combat boots, don your Antifa-brand black t-shirts, and select your finest identity-obscuring face mask: The Revolution starts this Saturday.

So what we’re gonna do, see, is we’re gonna kill every Trump voter, conservative and gun owner. Possibly with firearms. How will we know who voted for Donald Trump, you may ask? We’ll just know, and this psychic insight will allow us to successfully track down and eradicate 33% of the American population. Don’t ask how this is feasible, or why people who fundamentally oppose the tenants of fascism would enact a coordinated mass killing, or how small, autonomous bands of antifascists organized this without being shut down by the FBI —

“Just ’cause” should be enough. If you were dissatisfied with last November’s election results you know what I mean.

Are my radical supersoliders ready? Are you pumped? Great! We’ll start by beheading white parents and small business owners!

See you Saturday. If you’re going to bring snacks, make sure there’s enough to share and they’re gluten-free.

(Year Zero/Day Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven)

State Of The Alt-Right

Donald Trump’s newfound interest in “helping” Syrians has driven the Alt-Right into a tizzy. He’s a puppet, a cuckservative, and a bitterly disappointing daddy. Alex Jones is blathering on about betrayal and false flag operations meant to drive the nation into war. Richard Spencer led an anti-war rally where protesters were chanting slogans like “we want walls, not war!”

Will these trolls come back around to “daddy”? Ideally, no. Ideally, the feedback loop is broken, and paranoid conspiracy theories and pro-genocide talk are no longer a staple of the president’s intellectual diet. And yet it beggars belief to think nothing could bring the Alt-Right and Trump back together.

(Year Zero/Day Seventy-Nine)

Alex Jones: Not a Little Monster

Alex Jones had a lot to say about Lady Gaga (and meat dresses, and sports, and Bush Sr., and the Vatican and… Moon Swallowing?) and took to his Facebook page to say it.

Among his prediction of the machine uprising and his allusions that Roman inspired Dome buildings are meant to look like pink milky breasts, Jones came for Mother Monster, comparing her meat dress shenanigans and stage theatrics to Satanic rituals.  To him, the whole spectacle is meant as a form of domination, and that Lady Gaga intends to “squat on top of [us] and basically piss all over [us].”

Well I certainly don’t know if Gaga’s intention was to piss on us.  Maybe she thought our president was going to make an appearance and she wanted him to be comfortable.

But look, let’s not fight.  We all might have more in common than we think.  Look at Gaga and Jones.  They both have devoted fans, and I wouldn’t want to mess with either of them.  Especially Jones’.

Online Blackshirts, McCarthyists and Pony Lovers

Since I’m in the weeds of research for a couple upcoming posts, I thought I’d lighten things up a bit (lighten up here referring to a general reduction of the amount of reading and information synthesis required to make cogent points). Over the last two years I’ve been in the unfortunate position to watch someone I used to talk to with frequency change from a well-intentioned, historically aware libertarian to a proud, self-identified pro-Trump fascist. At this point I follow them on Facebook for the window they provide in to the memes of the “Deplorables”.

There’s a storied tradition of edgelordery on the Internet by the Internet. “I did it for the lulz” has been used to handwave away the consequences of shitty online behavior since Usenet. But unlike many of the mythological trickster gods whose employment of bizarre or contradictory methods was key to imparting secret knowledge through provocation, online trolls are naught more than human beings.  Psychological studies have shown that at the heart of trolling is disinhibition. Though they may use the Janus mask of online persona and irony, the best interpretation of their behavior is to take the admittedly counter-intuitive approach of treating what they have to say with some seriousness (inasmuch as it reveals something about how the troll really feels).

If most of your interactions are inside your own bubble, it can be hard to believe that what you’re looking at is real. The November Surprise may have shaken that conviction, but convictions die hard. The sampling of pages the person I follow on Facebook likes and shares I’m about to show you isn’t intended to be a GREAT REVELATION so much as to reinforce how rank the stench is in the fetid swamp of the Alt-Right.

Continue reading →