How You Will Be Affected By The Delay On Voting For The Revised Health Care Bill

Here’s how the delay on voting for the revised Senate health care bill due to John McCain’s surgery will affect you:

Here’s how listening to a promising young rapper’s mixtape will affect you:

Here’s how the refusal of major Hollywood studios to turn your screenplay into a movie will affect you:

Here’s how huffing silver paint will affect you:

Here’s how thinking the only reason we’re in this mess is because people live so long nowadays but also your grandparents are old will affect you:

Here’s how thinking about dismantling the white supremacy state and decolonizing minds will affect you:

Here’s how a gif of someone shrugging

will affect you:

Here’s how being told your New Jersey accent makes you sound like an asshole will affect you:

Here’s how someone making you listen to commercial radio will affect you:

Here’s how waiting a long time for a bus to come but when it does come the driver signals the bus is full and doesn’t stop for you will affect you:

Here’s how your inability to understand quantum physics no matter how many times it’s explained to you will affect you:

Here’s how being old enough to vote but too young to drink legally will affect you:

Here’s how reading Zora Neale Hurtson for the first time will affect you:

Here’s how being told how something will affect you will affect you:

Here’s how the heat death of the universe will affect you:

We all have made serious mistakes and hurt other people, intentionally or not. We get a chance to learn from them when those around us respond with kindness and patience. Where is our humility when examining the mistakes of others? Why do we position ourselves as morally superior to the un-woke? Who of us came into the world fully awake?

There are also some online publications of dogmatic activism that could be considered sacred texts. For example, the intersectional site Everyday Feminism receives millions of views a month. It features more than 40 talented writers who pen essays on a wide range of anti-oppression topics, zeroing in on ones that haven’t yet broached larger activist conversations online. When Everyday Feminism articles are shared among my friends, I feel both grateful that the conversation is sparking and also very belittled. Nearly all of their articles follow a standard structure: an instructive title, list of problematic or suggested behaviors, and a final statement of hard opinion. The titles, the educational tone, and the prescriptive checklists contribute to creating the idea that there is only one way to think about and do activism. And it’s a swiftly moving target that is always just out of reach. In trying to liberate readers from the legitimately oppressive structures, I worry that sites like Everyday Feminism are replacing them with equally restrictive orthodoxy on the other end of the political spectrum.

At this year’s Allied Media Conference, BLM co-founder Alicia Garza gave an explosive speech to a theatre full of brilliant and passionate organizers. She urged us to set aside our distrust and critique of newer activists and accept that they will hurt and disappoint us. Don’t shut them out because their politics are outdated or they don’t wield the same language. If we are interested in building the mass movements needed to destroy mass oppression, our movements must include people not like us, people with whom we will never fully agree, and people with whom we have conflict. That’s a much higher calling than railing at people from a distance and labeling them as wrong. Ultimately, according to Garza, building a movement is about restoring humanity to all of us, even to those of us who have been inhumane. Movements are where people are called to be transformed in service of liberation of themselves and others.

–Frances Lee, Excommunicate Me from the Church of Social Justice


Ten Fun Facts: Marc Kasowitz

This guy, this fucking guy, who does he think he is? He’s Donald Trump’s personal lawyer and he’s probably okay with cold-cocking women, children, puppies and camels… but how much do you really know about Marc Kasowitz?

1. Marc Kasowitz is under considerable strain right now. He’s been given a lot of important tasks in the past, like successfully pressuring the Jane Doe who accused Trump of raping her when she was 13 to drop her lawsuit days before the 2016 election – but this is different. He’s supposed to keep his friend in power and out of jail? That’s a lot to ask. Pressure builds. All the tension has to go somewhere. Sometimes he vents.

In the Wednesday night tirade, Kasowitz first responded to the man, saying: “F— you.”

Fifteen minutes of later, Kasowitz added a second barrage: “How dare you send me an email like that. I’m on you now. You are f— with me now. Let’s see who you are. Watch your back, bitch.”

In the exchange, which was first reported Thursday by ProPublica, Kasowitz appeared to threaten the man, saying, “I already know where you live, I’m on you… You will see me. I promise.”

The still-unidentified man at one point offered the retort: “Thank you for the kind reply.” Though he did forward the threats to the FBI.

2. Marc Kasowitz probably does know where you live. He represents the president and several other individuals with close ties to Vladimir Putin, so don’t fuck with him. Don’t think he’s joking. He doesn’t joke, shitheel.

3. Don’t tell anyone, but it was Marc who told Donnie to fire U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara. “This guy is going to get you” he’d advised, and when there was little reaction to Bharara’s firing from the chattering class, he celebrated with a scotch on the rocks.

4. Last month the rumor mill had it that he couldn’t get security clearance at the White House and was on the chopping block due to a little drinking problem. Utter horseshit. He and The Donald go way back, they’ve been through thick and thin, and no two-bit prick was going to piss all over his life like a Ruskie escort. It was a situation that needed finesse, is all, so he hired a PR flack who described himself as a mob fixer in his official bio to prop up his image. He celebrated with 8 scotches, neat.

5. Marc publicly apologizes for his tirade. What he wants to say is “I’m sorry I let such a worseless nothing get under my skin. I hope my PR guy helps him find a stylish pair of concrete shoes,” but he holds his tongue. He congratulates himself on his restraint with a four-pack of B&J.

6. One of the associates at his law firm jests that Kasowitz has an anger problem. Marc responds in good humor by throwing a telephone through his office window.

7. Marc’s teleconference with the president isn’t going well. News has emerged that at least eight people attended Junior’s infamous meeting, including a former KGB agent. Shit.

8. He had a bottle of Russian vodka in his office at Kasowitz Benson Torres, but it appears to have gone missing. He supposes he’ll have to make a beeline for the nearest bar.

9. Someone must have pilfered all the top shelf liquor in his house. No matter, it’s time to get creative. He celebrates his ingenuity by guzzling a full bottle of Listerine.

10. Who do you think you are, judging him that way. Yer just a nobody. A nobody! You wanna fight him about it? He’d like to see you try!

Or are you chicken?

That’s right, run away, punk. Run back to your shit job that doesn’t place to weight of the world on your shoulders. Yer not a reaaal man. Or woman. Whatever. It’s hard to see straight. Cocksucker.

Marc feels… dizzy. And a little pukey. Make that a lot pukey. Oh no, here it comes…

(Year Zero/Day One-Hundred and Seventy-Six)

Excerpts From Our Forthcoming Non-Alphabetical Glossary Of Terms Applicable To The Modern Political Era

Nothing Burger – Information of extreme relevance; “nothing burger” is often used to downplay its importance through a silly rhetorical flourish.

Priebusing – Continuing to show up to work every day despite rumors of your impending involuntary departure. Priebusing is closely related to the term “Priebus’ luck” (see below).

Blank Sheet – Refusing to cooperate with a court order in a timely manner. Redacting most of a page of information before releasing it to a government watchdog organization.

Off-Camera Briefing: A way to communicate your message to the press corps without providing any clips that can later be played on late night shows.

Spicing – Being buried under the incompetence of the individuals you have been hired to defend to the public.

The American People – The 30 percent or so of randomly polled Americans who have a positive view of the 45th president.

More – Less.

Fiscal Conservatism – The principled belief that the federal government should cut spending on health care, social security, food stamps, low-income housing, student loans and Planned Parenthood so that the Military-Industrial Complex will finally get the funding it deserves.

Lawsuit – An action taken against plebeians, not presidents.

Priebus’ Luck – When one unexpectedly finds their job is secure due to their employer’s newfound fear of firing people for legal/political reasons.

Bigly – See yuge.

Gaslighting – There’s no such thing as gaslighting. It’s not even a word. Only an idiot would believe in gaslighting. Why would we gaslight you, anyway? You’re not even worth our time.

Authoritarianism – In the United States, a word tentatively used to describe behavior more closely resembling fascism. The Diet Coke of identifying an incipient dictatorship.

High-Quality Person – One who is grossly stupid, evil or both. Characterized by a lack of basic understanding of laws, social mores, etiquette or ethics.

Yuge – See bigly.

Flash Cards – The best way to explain a complicated concept to The American People.

(Year Zero/Day One Hundred and Seventy-Five)