The Apex Of Political Criticism

The time has come to talk about Paul Ryan’s penis. Not because we want to, but because Steve Bannon does.

Bannon reportedly called House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) “a limp-dick motherfucker who was born in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation,” referring to the think tank whose fiscal conservative policies the representative espouses.

Obviously Ryan is a lab experiment gone wrong, but what does his tumescence have to do with anything? Why can’t Paul Ryan be a degenerate creep who sees Ayn Rand’s face when he closes his eyes and still be able to maintain erections?

(Year Zero/Day One Hundred and Eighty)