Can You Imagine A President With Ties To Organized Crime?

Well, yes. JFK. And the Bush family had some extremely shady connections, and — without making this a litany, it’s likely few get into the White House without unsavory associations.

Given this, it’s no shock Donald Trump has connections to the Russian mafia, or as he lovingly refereed to them in 2013, “the oligarchs”.

The president and his companies have been linked to at least 10 wealthy former Soviet businessmen with alleged ties to criminal organizations or money laundering.

Among them:

• A member of the firm that developed the Trump SoHo Hotel in New York is a twice-convicted felon who spent a year in prison for stabbing a man and later scouted for Trump investments in Russia.

•  An investor in the SoHo project was accused by Belgian authorities in 2011 in a $55 million money-laundering scheme.

• Three owners of Trump condos in Florida and Manhattan were accused in federal indictments of belonging to a Russian-American organized crime group and working for a major international crime boss based in Russia.

•  A former mayor from Kazakhstan was accused in a federal lawsuit filed in Los Angeles in 2014 of hiding millions of dollars looted from his city, some of which was spent on three Trump SoHo units.

•  A Ukrainian owner of two Trump condos in Florida was indicted in a money-laundering scheme involving a former prime minister of Ukraine.

We all probably know a few people who have broken the law (whether we know they’ve done this is a different story), but they’re by and large small fish. It’s appalling that Trump is hording so many of the world’s big fish. What about us plebes, Donald? How are we supposed to make connections with shady yet influential and unimaginably wealthy businessmen if you’re taking up so much of their time?

Frankly, I’m jealous. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to make good money. Where’s an alleged crimelord when you need one?

(Year Zero/Day Seventy-One)