In Memoriam: Sean Spicer

Every journey comes to an end. Some endings come as a sharp, sudden shock. Others are more gradual. You can see what’s coming and have time to brace yourself for the terminus. This ending feels like a little bit of both.

Come August, Sean Spicer will recede into the bushes for the last time and won’t be furitively whispering to reporters ever again. He is not deceased – physically – however, taking into account the morass that is the Trump administration, it is safe to assume he underwent some sort of spiritual death.

One hundred and eighty-three days ago, Spicer battering-rammed his way into our hearts. Here was a man sensitive to the unsettled national mood that pervaded Inaugeration Day. His ingenious remedy was an astringent attack on those who would question the president’s own truth.

He was a Press Secretary with pluck and verve. A man who, through a tilt of his head, a furrow of his brow, or an exasperated sigh, plainly communicated the toll of cognitive dissonance upon his person. When he finally broke, he broke hard, refusing to endorse Donald Trump’s selection of the execrable Anthony Scaramucci as his replacement.

It was almost a moral victory. That’s the best anyone in the Trump administration can hope for. Sean Spicer may be leaving, but he will never be forgotten.

(Year Zero/Day One Hundred and Eighty-Three)

Steve Bannons In Glass Houses Shouldn’t Throw Whiskey Bottles

Yes, we should be concerned about the administration’s push to get the travel ban before the Supreme Court, the Obamacare repeal bill the Senate is clandestinely constructing, incipient fascism, attempts to privatize the public organs of government… we haven’t forgotten any of it.

But we’re concerned for our pal Spicey. He’s been having a rough go of things. Do you think a press secretary who loves what he’s doing hides in the bushes or forbids cameras from his briefings? Dude wants out of the job like yesterday. That’s why he’s actively looking for his own replacement.

Exhibit A for how toxic his work environment is:

Asked why the briefings are now routinely held off-camera, White House chief strategist Steve Bannon said in a text message “Sean got fatter,” and did not respond to a follow-up.

In case you’ve forgotten, this is alcohol-sodden visage of Steve Bannon.

He was just joshing, some will say. But we all know Steve is incapable of being nice to a perceived social inferior, even if they’re white. Nothing gets him off more than bullying people who can’t defend themselves. Sad middlemen like Sean Spicer included.

There’s a saying you’ve never heard before because I just made it up: Steve Bannons in glass houses shouldn’t throw whiskey bottles.

(Year Zero/Day One Hundred and Fifty-Three)

Daily Melange

I can’t stop thinking about Sean Spicer.

America’s newest patron saint of live-televised fuck-ups elevated his game to historic levels this week.

After incorrectly saying that Hitler did not use chemical weapons in WWII, President Trump’s thumb-headed mouth piece referred to a concentration camp as a “Holocaust center.”

I’ve wondered about the actual intelligence level of Spicer for some time now.

I get it.

Not everyone in the Trump Administration is stupid, but surely that doesn’t disqualify Spicer from being a few fries short of a happy meal.

This is a guy who’s used the height of two separate stacks of paper as a core talking point.

Remember his first interaction with the press?

It’s gotten to the point where one can easily argue that Spicer at the very least is grossly incompetent.

And I don’t want to hear about him being a diversion. Likening concentration camps to giant Nazi Targets with “Holocaust Center” in block letters emblazoned on the front of the building is so laughably absurd that I literally had to make sure I was not tripping acid before accepting what he said as reality.

Personally, I think Trump has kept Spicer around to appease GOP brass and not look weak by firing his administration’s senior media White House official.

There’s also the possibility that Spicey’s clung to the gig so long because his gaffes are distractive explosions across all platforms of media.

Remember when Neil Gorsuch was sworn in to the Supreme Court?

Will this outrage override the revelations regarding Paul Manafort?

Regardless, I think if you have to call Sheldon Adelson and try to apologize to the entire Jewish people, you are probably going to be fired.

My guess is Trump gives him the axe within the next week.

Heads are already rolling and you might as well cut ties and distance yourself from a guy who you already are concerned looks too much like Melissa McCarthy anyway.

I will miss those sketches though.

Then again, the spice must flow.


The Actor’s Actor

Since his stunning debut on the national stage, Sean Spicer has delivered one electrifying performance after another. The man’s an actor’s actor, a Daniel Day Lewis of promoting the official White House line.

Being, as he is, a consummate performer, the general public takes his incomparable thespianism for granted. Yet underneath the apparent ease with which he spins, there’s a real commitment to his craft.

Par exemple, at today’s White House press briefing Spicey took a bold artistic risk by playing the role of a man who sincerely believes the Republican-controlled Congress is about to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act.

“Member by member we’re seeing tremendous support flow in our direction. The count keeps getting stronger for us.”

When asked what would happen if the American Health Care Act does not get enough votes on Thursday to pass, Spicer said that the administration had “no plan B.”

“There’s plan A and plan A,” Spicer said. “We’re going to get this done … This is it. If you want to see Obamacare repealed and replaced, this is it. This is the vote.”

The reality is rather more complicated. The hard-right House Freedom Caucus has vowed to vote down the American Health Care Act. Should it pass the House, the bill as it exists is expected to be dead on arrival in the Senate. The anti-Trumpcare anger expressed at town hall meetings continues to make GOP congressmen quake in their boots.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate Spicer’s artfulness. There are challenging roles and then there are are challenging roles. Critics of the future will call today one of his finest hours.