The Revolution Starts Now (Well, Saturday)

Comrades:

Societal upheaval and glorious slaughter are nearly at hand. Lace up your combat boots, don your Antifa-brand black t-shirts, and select your finest identity-obscuring face mask: The Revolution starts this Saturday.

So what we’re gonna do, see, is we’re gonna kill every Trump voter, conservative and gun owner. Possibly with firearms. How will we know who voted for Donald Trump, you may ask? We’ll just know, and this psychic insight will allow us to successfully track down and eradicate 33% of the American population. Don’t ask how this is feasible, or why people who fundamentally oppose the tenants of fascism would enact a coordinated mass killing, or how small, autonomous bands of antifascists organized this without being shut down by the FBI —

“Just ’cause” should be enough. If you were dissatisfied with last November’s election results you know what I mean.

Are my radical supersoliders ready? Are you pumped? Great! We’ll start by beheading white parents and small business owners!

See you Saturday. If you’re going to bring snacks, make sure there’s enough to share and they’re gluten-free.

(Year Zero/Day Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven)